Kids Jokes

Joke 1

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 

'Take only ONE . God is watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. 

A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples'.

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Joke 2

Little Johnny wasn't very good at spelling. During an oral spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. 

"Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?"

After a moment's reflection, Johnny said, "Canoe?"

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Joke 3

A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic, he said it was his mission. 

He kissed her once; he kissed her twice and said, "Now that's addition." 

In silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, "Now that's subtraction." 

Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation. And both together smiled and said, "That's multiplication." 

Then her Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision. He kicked that boy three blocks away and said, "That's long division!"